The Time Traveler
by Liila6241
Summary: If you had the opportunity to go back and change everything . . . would you? In which, Joel is given the opportunity to the past to try and make a change.
1. Prologue

**A/N: So, I've had this idea in my head for months, and it's been sitting on my computer for months. I've recently been going through my word documents looking for one shots to write, I discovered this! While this isn't going to be a one shot, I'm still super excited to share this with you all! Let's get started!**

**Note: I've been using this video off all the cut scenes as a reference: watch?v=aJpXI8Ao-9I**

**Trigger Warning: Death**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Last of Us**

* * *

Prologue 

He remembers the fear when Ellie wouldn't respond to CPR.

He remembers the anger when Marlene told him the cost about making the vaccine.

He remembers the heartbreak when he realizes he was too late . . .

Joel looks down at Ellie's body with utter agony written on his features. The doctors are dead at his feet and Ellie is gone. "Ellie?" he says in a broken voice, placing a hand on the girl's face and wincing at how cold she is.

The man narrows his eyes. He should have never listened to Tess. They should have let Marlene find someone else to take Ellie to the Fireflies, and found another way to get the guns. Maybe then . . . maybe then, everyone would be alive right now. Maybe then, he wouldn't be the last alive, and missing Ellie like he misses Sarah . . .

_Sarah . . . _

Gunshots and shouting from the Firefly soldiers snap Joel from his thoughts. He shakes his head, clearing his mind. He doesn't have time to go down that path right now, after all, Joel still needs to escape the base.

He carefully lifts Ellie's body off the operation table, and heads out of the room. Joel quickly navigates through the hospital, with Firefly sprinting behind him. The man turns a corner and spots the elevator in the distance, and feels a light of hope in his chest. He runs for the elevator, and jams the button right as bullets begin whizzing by his head. Joel stands unable to defend himself, without cover and his arms filled with Ellie's body.

The elevator arrives right as the soldiers discover Joel's location. Joel enters the elevator, and presses the down button. He wills the doors to close, and they do, just before the first soldier is about to reach him. Joel lets out a relieved sigh, and leans heavily against the wall behind him.

Joel soon arrives on Parking Level Two. He presses the button in confusion, before realizing the damn thing isn't working. Joel swears under his breath, and exits the elevator. He looks to his left and sees a car that looks like it may have some juice in it. With his decision, Joel takes a step towards the vehicle before freezing at the sound of a gun cocking. He turns to his right only to see the form of Marlene a few feet away, with her pistol aimed at Joel's head.

Marlene cautiously watches Joel, averting her gaze between the man, and Ellie in his arms. "You're too late, you know?"

"I don't need for you to tell me what I am."

Marlene shakes her head. "You're not the only one who lost her, Joel."

"But, I didn't give up her life for something that may not work," Joel counters.

"It's what she would have wanted," Marlene argues as she takes a step forward. "And you know it."

Joel glares at Marlene, angry that she thought she knew what a fourteen year old could have wanted. How could _any _of the adults in Ellie's life, _including Joel_, know what she would have wanted?

Marlene raises her hands in the form of surrender and slowly begins to approach Joel. Before she gets too close, Joel shoots her twice in the stomach with the pistol that was concealed by Ellie's body. Marlene drops her gun and collapses to the ground with a grunt.

Joel quickly walks over to the car, opening the door and placing Ellie's body on the backseat. He slams the door and strides over to Marlene, with his pistol clasped tightly in his hand.

"Wait, wait!" Marlene exclaims through her panting. The ground around her is covered with her blood as she continues to bleed from the wound in her abdomen. "Let me go," she pleads, desperate.

Joel straightens his shoulders and glares at Marlene. "No," he says before raising his gun and shooting her between the eyes.

* * *

The drive to Tommy's Compound is spent in an eerie silence. Joel absently strokes his beard, and he gazes at the road ahead of him. He looks into the rearview mirror, and his heart clenches as he sees Ellie's unmoving body. He gulps and turns back to the road, briefly wondering what would happen if she was still alive.

Ellie would be confused, wondering what happened (the last thing she would have remembered was almost drowning while trying to help Joel—if even that much). Joel would spin a lie about how they found the Fireflies and Marlene, who told him that there were dozens more like Ellie and that all attempts of extraction have been unsuccessful. He would tell her that the Fireflies have stopped looking for a cure. Ellie would have known he was lying, but wouldn't argue until later.

Joel takes a deep breath, tightens his grip on the steering wheel, and focuses his gaze. He's almost to the Compound, and it wouldn't do him any good to crash now.

A few miles later, the car begins to sputter and spurt. Joel curses and pulls into the grass. He shuts the car off and sighs. At least the damn thing stopped working close to Tommy's.

Joel climbs out of the car, groaning and stretching his legs. He's not used to being so immobile in one sitting. He opens the back door, and carefully slides Ellie's body out of the vehicle. Joel cradles the girl close before turning away from the vehicle and looking at the woods in front of him. He still has a long way to go.

Tommy immediately greets Joel, when he arrives at the Compound's entrance twenty minutes after he left the car. His brother looks between Joel and Ellie with a hopeful gaze and unspoken words on his lips ("How did it go? Do you know anything about the vaccine? How's Ellie doing? Is she alright?)

Joel spares a glance down at Ellie before shaking his head sadly. When he looks up, the hopeful expression on Tommy's face has fallen into one of grief.

Tommy walks over and places a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder. He leads his brother further into the Compound, calling for Maria over his radio.

That day, they have a funeral for Ellie that the entire Compound (aside from the guards) attends. She is buried in the cemetery amongst the previously deceased. Maria gives a beautiful sermon and everyone hangs their heads in silent respect.

Joel and Tommy stand next to Ellie's coffin, looking down at the girl. She's wearing one of Maria's old dresses from when she was younger, and wearing her hair out. Ellie looks like she's sleeping and Joel is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she is gone.

Tommy places a hand on Joel's shoulder, but he barely registers the action. Joel is trapped in his thoughts as he looks down at Ellie, wondering if things could have been different.

* * *

Weeks later, the Compound gets word that the vaccine didn't work.

Joel is furious. He is standing in the center of the room Tommy gave him the day of Ellie's funeral, sieving with rage. Joel knew—he fucking knew that it wouldn't work and Ellie had to pay the price. He swipes the journal off his nightstand (he started keeping one when he first got to Boston and still updates it regularly), and tosses it across the room, listening with satisfaction as it slams against the wall and falls to the floor.

Hours later, Joel is sitting in the center of his room with his head in his hands. He hears his door opening, and the familiar steps of his brother approaching him. Tommy silently sits next to him and places an arm around his shoulders.


	2. The Machine

**A/N: I'm literally so overwhelmed by the interest in this story, especially since I started to regret it after I posted the Prologue. But, regardless, I am going to finish the story and we're going to begin that path with this next chapter. I hope you all enjoy! **

**Note: I don't think I mentioned this anywhere, but Joel is living at Tommy and Maria's house at the Compound.**

* * *

The Machine

_Ten years later . . . _

Joel is awakened from his uneasy slumber by the early morning sunlight. He groans and throws his right arm over his eyes, willing himself to return to sleep.

Right as Joel can feel the world of unconsciousness approaching, someone knocks on his door. Joel furrows his brow in irritation as a familiar laugh reaches his ears.

"Rise and shine!" the voice calls, sounding too cheery for this early in the morning.

"Go away, little brother," Joel growls, wanting nothing more than to slug his sibling in the face.

Tommy laughs again and bangs on the door. "Come on, Joel! Up and at 'em! You don't want me to get Maria, do you?"

Joel involuntarily shivers. When she wants something, she gets it, and if she wants Joel up, then he gets up lest he faces her wrath. Maria both equally amuses and terrifies him. She's perfect for Tommy.

The man sighs. "Fine, Tommy, I'm up. I'll meet you in the kitchen in ten."

"Alright, see you soon!" Tommy says before Joel hears his footsteps disappearing down the hall.

Joel sighs, throwing the covers off his body and perching himself on the edge of his bed. It's been ten years since "The Incident," as Joel began referring to the events at the Firefly Headquarters in Salt Lake. Joel shakes his head. He still can't believe the girl he spent nine months with—the girl who nursed him back to health and whom he begun to see like a daughter—is gone. In between expeditions he runs with some of the boys for the camp, Joel makes sure he visits Ellie's grave and tells her about how things are going. Every year on the anniversary of her death, the camp gathers, and holds a service to celebrate her life.

He sighs and glances at his nightstand where the framed picture of him and Sarah after her first soccer tournament (he found the frame on an expedition roughly nine years ago) and his journal rest. Joel sighs. He doesn't have much to remind him of Ellie—just some ratty old comics, his journal entries, and his memories (which are beginning to fade with his advancing age). He's starting to have a hard time remembering the years with Sarah before the outbreak began. The only thing Joel has to remind him of those times is his journal and Tommy.

The man buries his head in his hands. If only the scientists would have had control over the infected before the lab exploded back in Texas where he and Sarah were living over thirty years ago. Maybe is daughter would have lived longer than she did—she could have been alive to this day and here with Joel! Tommy would definitely be happy for sure, he always loved spoiling his favorite niece ("I'm your _only _niece, Uncle Tommy," Sarah would retort, which always had Tommy bursting with laughter).

Joel shakes his head, clearing his mind. This is why he sleeps in—early mornings turn him into a nostalgic fool.

The man rises from his bed, gathers some clothing, and hops into the shower. In the past ten years, he's fallen into a routine: get woken up by Tommy, shower, breakfast, work, lunch, more work, dinner, relaxation, bed, repeat. There are exceptions to the established routine via expeditions for supplies and random infected attacks (which have dwindled over the years).

Still, Joel can't find himself becoming tired of his routine and the averageness of it. The whole thing reminds him of the past—hell, he and Tommy have even been joking like they used too when they were younger. While Joel can't begin to talk about Ellie, he is starting to bring up Sarah more in conversations, much to Tommy's delight and surprise. He still can't talk about the night she died, but he and Tommy have been reminiscing of outings they took together years ago before all this shit started.

Joel finishes his shower and dries himself off before dressing. He pulls on a faded red plaid shirt, a pair of worn blue jeans, and black shoes. The man had found these items on an expedition and decided to hang onto them, an action Tommy encouraged. After all, new clothes are hard to come by, especially ones in decent condition like Joel found.

He finishes dressing and looks in the mirror. His beard and hair could use a trim, but he doesn't have the energy for that right now. Maybe he can get Maria to do it for him later. She's never minded in the past, and she once told Joel that doing other people's hair always relaxes her—said she used to be a hair dresser before everything went to hell.

Joel sighs, heading out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen.

"Did you get lost on the way here?" Tommy greets with a smile as he enters the kitchen.

Maria rolls her eyes and sets a plate of pancakes on the counter, which grabs with a curt thank you. She smiles. "You're welcome, and don't forget my rule! If I cook, you two do the dishes."

"I helped you cook today, though," Tommy protests.

"And you can help even more by doing the dishes," Maria says fondly before placing a kiss on Tommy's cheek.

Joel chuckles and digs into his pancakes. "Maria you have such a talent for pancakes."

"Why thank you, gracious one," she jokes, earning a smile from Joel.

"_Tommy! Tommy!"_ a voice crackles over the walkie-talkie.

Tommy exchanges a glance with Joel before picking up the walkie. "I'm here; go ahead, Matt."

"_The expedition team has returned and they've found some interesting technology,"_ Matt informs. _"It appears to be in pretty good condition despite the fact that it's probably been abandoned for . . . I'd say forty years. I'm having the boys bring it to the tech lab. Oh man, the scientists and engineers are going to flip!"_

Tommy chuckles. "That they will. Thanks Matt. Keep me posted."

"_No problem. I'll let you know as soon as I hear something,"_ Matt says, and with those words, the walkie falls silent.

"Technology, huh," Maria says with a curious gleam in her eyes. "I wonder what it could be?"

Tommy shrugs. "I guess we'll find out."

* * *

Two weeks later, Matt contacts Tommy over the walkie and informs him that they know what the mystery technology is.

Joel, Tommy, and Maria head over to the lab where Shannon Baines, the head scientist, and Tamera Lorre, the head engineer, greet them. Shannon is short and plump with light red hair that falls to her shoulders, olive skin, and green eyes alight with excitement. Tamera is tall and lean with a shaved head, dark skin and glasses resting on her nose. Both women are wearing buttoned up white lab coats, black slacks, and black shoes.

Tommy nods to the pair in greeting. "Show us what you found," he says.

Shannon and Tamera lead the trio further into the lab. They arrive in a spacious, well-lit area, with computers and machines scattered around the room and hooked up to various wires. In the center of the room, sitting on a platform, is a machine that looks like something out of _Back to the Future_.

Joel snorts at the thought. He's surprised that he still remembers that movie, let alone the reference.

"What the hell is this?" Maria asks, warily looking at the machine front front of her.

"From what we can gather, it appears to be the beginnings of a time machine," Shannon says, barely containing her excitement at this discovery.

"Time machine? Like in the movies?" Tommy questions.

"That's what we've concluded," Shannon says. "There's not much else it _could_ be, in all honesty."

Tommy shakes his head. "We all knew that the U.S. Government was up to some suspicious shit, but I'd never think any of it would be true."

Joel looks at the machine with curiosity. Ellie would get a kick out of this; she had a massive love science fiction. He can imagine her smiling and jumping around at the prospect of being able to go back. ("Joel, this is the coolest thing _ever_! We have to go back, we _have _to!" she would have exclaimed).

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. Now, isn't the time to be thinking about the past. Joel looks at the four people standing in front of him, who are now conversing quietly together, wondering if the machine would actually work.

"We don't know for sure if it will be functional; it appears to be a prototype that hasn't been tested," Tamera says, which causes Joel to realize that he actually voiced his thoughts aloud. "There is a slight possibility that we could be able to get it to work, but it will be difficult especially since we don't have the blueprints."

Joel and Tommy exchange a glance.

Tommy shrugs. "Worth a shot, right?"

Joel nods his agreement.

"Maria? What do you think?" Tommy asks.

Maria turns away from the machine to look at her husband. "I say we go for it," she says with a smile.

Tommy returns her smile before turning to Shannon and Tamera. "See what you can do."

The two women grin and nod, enthusiastic at the prospect of getting their hands on new technology.

"I always did love a challenge," Tamera says, her grin widening. "We'll keep you posted, Tommy."

Tommy nods before watching the pair walk away, chattering excitedly amongst themselves. He turns to look at his wife and his brother. "You wanna head out?"

Maria nods. "Let's go," she says before leading the men out of the lab.

* * *

Dinner that night was an interesting affair.

Ever since they went to the lab, the trio hasn't stopped talking about the time machine and all the wonderful things they could do.

Tommy joked about going to the Jurassic Age and living amongst Joel's people. Joel pushed his brother off his chair in retaliation for the jab and his age. Maria laughed and called them both idiots.

Maria talked about wanting to go back and see her grandmother, who died when she was ten. The woman loves her grandmother more than anyone (even Tommy), and often talks fondly of the other woman. Joel and Tommy are familiar with the stories, and know that Maria would love the chance to see her again.

Joel mentioned wanting to go back and see his parents again. Tommy smiled fondly, no doubt thinking of their past before their parents were in that accident. Joel continued speaking about how he would also like to track down Patient Zero and punch them in the face. It was Patient Zero's fault as to why the infection happened in the first place. ("Why stop at punching," Maria had questioned. "Just full on shoot him—I'd love to do the honors.")

The man would have let her in a heartbeat.

Maria announces that dinner (spaghetti—a rarity, but a delicacy) is ready.

The trio piles a proportionate amount of food on their plates and settles at the kitchen table, finally stalling in their talks of time travel and machines in favor of stuffing their faces with Maria's wonderful cooking.

"Hey," Maria says later into the meal, twirling around the spaghetti on her plate. "If one of us could actually go back in time, who do you think it should it be?"

"Me," Joel declares without hesitation.

"Joel, are you sure?" Tommy asks, giving his brother a look of concern.

"I'm tired, Tommy," Joel says, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over him. "I'm just an old man, and you need these young people. You, Tommy, need to be here for your family, and these nice people and their families."

"You're my family too, Joel," Tommy argues, with a hint of desperation in his voice. "That hasn't changed."

"Don't argue with me, little brother," Joel warns, tightening his grip on his fork. " Joel warns, tightening his grip on his fork.

Tommy looks angry; his lip is even starting to curl upward, which is something that happens when the man is either furious or passionate about something. Joel has seen this look many times, and they've nearly always been directed at him.

After a few tense moments, Tommy sighs, his face falling into a look of reluctant acceptance. "If you did go back, what would you do?"

Joel takes a breath, and doesn't respond.


	3. The Decision

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to update! I was distracted by other things lol. **

**Let's just go ahead and get into it!**

* * *

The Decision

Over the next few weeks, Joel thinks about what he would do in the past. He's a bit skeptical about the device _actually_ being a time machine, but Tommy and the Camp are so excited at the prospect of time travel that he doesn't want to bring them down. In this world, especially as long as he and his brother have been in it, they need to take any sort of good news they can find, even if it comes in the form of secret government tech that may or may not be a "time machine."

The man sighs. He's been trying to sleep for the past hour, but slumber isn't coming to him. He shifts his position, rolling onto his side, pausing when he sees the picture of him and Sarah resting on the nightstand. He smiles sadly, thinking back to a simpler time to when that photo was taken . . .

"Come on Sarah, you can do it!" Joel shouts, even though the roar of the crowd is drowning him out.

"Think she'll be able to make it?" Tommy asks from his position next to his brother on the bleachers. He clutches in the large soda in his hand tighter as Sarah continues making her way down the field.

"I know she will," he responds in complete confidence. He claps his hands. "Come on!"

The brothers are at Sarah's first elementary school soccer game. His daughter first showed interest in the sport after watching the World Cup on television with wonder in her eyes. She came to him that night begging him to pay for soccer lessons. While Joel never thought of himself as a "soccer dad," he gladly supported his little girl in her decision.

Sarah is running down the field at top speed, kicking the ball the entire way after blocking an attempt on her team's goal. The crowd gets louder and louder as Sarah runs closer to the other goal, and erupting into a tremendous roar when she scores the winning goal right as the buzzer wails.

Joel and Tommy's proud exclamations and joyous cries are unheard in the crowd. Sarah jumps into the air before running over and hugging her teammates, who are gathered in a circle on the other side of the field.

It takes about five minutes, but the coaches and referee manage to get the girls to calm down long enough to present each of them with a trophy that has a little soccer ball perched on top.

The brothers make their way through the swarm of players and parents before running over to Sarah and wrapping the girl in their combined embrace. The girl can barely contain her excitement, quickly breaking the hug and bouncing around.

"Did you see me Dad and Uncle Tommy? I was on fire!"

Joel laughs before saying, "We did, and we're so proud of you."

Sarah pauses in her bouncing long enough to direct a blinding smile to him.

"I think this calls for a photo," Tommy says pulling his camera out of his pocket.

"You need one for the scrapbook?" Joel says in a teasing tone.

"Hey, don't diss the scrapbook. You'll thank me for them one day," Tommy says with a smile. "Alright, you two, bring it in."

Joel bends at the waist and finds himself being drawn into a hug by his daughter. He laughs and wraps his arm around her, holding her close.

"Say cheese."

"Cheese!"

He's pulled out of his thoughts when he feels wetness on his face. Joel wipes at his face and presses his palms against his eyes. Losing his girl was like losing a limb, and he's surprised he was able to keep going for as long as he has. Then again, he did have Tommy (before their falling out) and later Tess to unconsciously lean on.

He gulps before rolling over so he's facing the wall again. He exhales and closes his eyes, so he can try to catch some rest.

* * *

Five days later, Joel finds himself strolling through the Compound and waving to his neighbors and their kids, who unfortunately have to spend their childhood living in these conditions. He originally wasn't going to go out, but when Tommy told him how nice it really was outside, he just had to take advantage of it, especially since it's been raining for the last two days. His feet lead him to a small field, which they've dubbed their park, and pauses to admire the flowers that are finally beginning to bloom (a few of the families had gotten to together and done it—said they wanted to spruce the place up a bit).

Joel looks away from the flowers and sees Maria on the other end of the park, standing in front of a group of five soldiers. She's pacing slowly in front of them with her hands on her hips. He can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, but it appears as though Maria is lecturing these soldiers for being irresponsible. Joel hums to himself. Now, doesn't that seem familiar . . .

"Are you out of your goddamn minds?" Tess screams. The military have been conducting more raids recently, due to the increase of their knowledge of the illegal activities in the Boston Safe Area (no thanks to Robert, the bastard), which have put Joel and Tess on edge. The warehouse, in which they store all their merchandise, is in the same district where most of the raids are happening. The three men standing in front of her were supposed to be carefully guarding the warehouse, but were instead playing a card game and shamelessly flirting with some women passing by, who could have very well been military spies.

"Aw, Tess, there was no one around," One of the men (named Toby) protests.

"But, what if there was? They could have gotten in, discovered our activities, and then we all would have been clicker food," Tess counters. While her tone has lowered, the bite behind her words hasn't changed.

Joel stands a few feet away, leaning against the opposite wall watching the scene unfold. He always finds it best to let Tess handle these situations. While some of the people working for the two of them are afraid of Joel (probably due to his broad build and awesome beard), they don't know what true fear is until they've crossed Tess.

Another of the men (Adam) rolls his eyes. "Jeez_ someone's_ on her period. Am I right?"

Tess whirls around and punches Adam in the nose so fast that Joel isn't sure it happened until he hears the man collide with the floor, groaning and clutching his face. She shakes out her fist and places both hands on her hips. He can't see her face, but he imagines it's twisted with rage.

"Joel, can you help a fella out?" one of the men (Keith) asks as he helps his friend stand.

He shakes his head. "No, you brought this on yourselves. Y'all should know better than to talk to a woman like that."

"Anybody else got something to say?" Tess questions, voice low and dangerous as she rakes over the men in front of her.

"N-No, ma'am," Keith and Toby answer together.

"Good. If I hear about any of you shirking in your duties again, you will be speaking to the barrel of my gun, am I clear?"

"Crystal!"

She jerks her head to the door. "Get this fucker out of my sight."

The pair quickly grabs their friend underneath the arms and hauls him out of the room, presumably heading to medical.

Tess turns around with a deep frown on her face. She briefly glances at Joel before crossing the room and sliding heavily onto the couch places against the wall. "I swear, men get dumber and dumber every day."

"That is a testament I can agree with."

Joel is brought from his thoughts when he hears Maria dismissing the soldiers. She shakes her head in disappointment before spotting him lingering in the distance. She grabs her black bag, which is lying on the ground near her feet, and crosses the field to join him.

"Hey," she greets gently hitting him in the shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about an old friend."

Maria tilts her head curiously, but doesn't inquire any further information, something which Joel is grateful for.

* * *

A week later, Joel goes to his room after having a wonderful lunch of noodles and peas with his brother and Maria. He opens the door and frowns at the mess. Joel is usually an organized person, but between duties to the Camp and being lost in his head, he's really fallen behind. He sighs and closes the door behind him; he better get started, the room isn't going to clean itself.

Joel crosses the room, opening the top draw of his dresser and furrowing his brow. He pulls out a worn comic book, holding the object in his hand. The comic entitled _The Galaxy Wars: Vengeance of Rath_ was the fourth edition in Ellie's favorite series. She used to go on for hours about Nadia Ramon (the central character) who was genetically engineered by the last of the human race to stop the Doombots (lead by Rath) from taking over the galaxy.

Ellie once said, with a nostalgic look, that Nadia reminded her of an old friend. Joel remembers when she told him the story, and finds himself unable to stop the memories before they appear in the forefront of his mind . . .

He and Ellie had just left Bill's place in Lincoln, thankful that he was able to get a car from his friend. The two have been driving for roughly two hours, by Joel's estimate. Ellie was animated and chatty for the first forty-five minutes, asking Joel about the towns and cities passing by and waving around one of Bill's pornographic magazines before tossing it out the window with a laugh. Now, the girl sits silently and has been for a while. Joel thought she had fallen asleep, until she starts speaking.

"I wasn't alone," Ellie says, breaking the silence in the car. She raises her arm slightly for emphasis. "When I was bit, I wasn't alone."

Joel raises a questioning eyebrow, but doesn't take his eyes off the road.

She takes his silence as a motion to continue. "Her name was Riley; she was the first to die. We went to the mall in Boston, I'm sure you know the one. I rarely was able to leave the school because everyone was so worried about how dangerous it is. I didn't see what the big fuss was about until we were overrun by infected. We were almost out of the mall—_fuck_, we were so close. I fell, she protects me, and then we were both bitten."

Ellie pauses. "She was my friend, maybe even more than that, but we never had the chance to talk about it. Riley turned and attacked me, and I had no choice. I had to stop her, so I put a bullet into my best friend."

Joel remains silent, not knowing how to respond.

He comes out of his flashback by the sound of wood snapping underneath his fingers. He looks down at the ruined dresser draw (wondering when he set down the comic and grabbed the edge of the draw in the first place) before dropping the broken pieces on the ground. He glances up into the mirror above his dresser, with his decision clear in mind.

If, by some miracle, this device is actually a time machine, he's going to go back and find Ellie.

* * *

**A/N: I think this chapter is kind of eh, but I do skip around a bit. In my defense, though, if i included every little thing they did in between the important bits, we would be here for eight years. lol. **

**I hope you guys enjoyed! One more chapter after this! :)**


	4. The Past

**A/N: I meant to post this back in April, but then Cap 2 happened and well...**

**I want to give a massive thank you to everyone who has supported the story thus far, you guys are the best! This is the last chapter unfortunately and I hope all of you enjoy it despite the delay. **

**Warning: blood and death.**

* * *

The Past

It takes 5 years, but the scientists and engineers get the time machine to work.

Tommy relays this information to Joel via the walkie-talkie, nearly missing his brother's words. Joel has been on a recon mission for the past few days with eight of the younger members of the camp in search of supplies. They were almost back to camp, when they were attacked by a pack of infected (including clickers), which surprises the group for something like this hasn't happened in years.

Joel pulls his gun off his back immediately aiming and pulling the trigger, taking out two clickers with one bullet. He runs forward, switching to his knife, grabbing one of the infected from behind and using his weapon to slash open her throat. He lets the woman fall to the ground, listening to the sounds of the other people with him firing their weapons and take down their enemies.

The fight continues in this manner for what feels like hours, with Joel trying to take as much of the fight away from his teammates and provide backup at the same time. These kids are well trained; hell, he trained a few of them himself, but he doesn't know how much more they can take. He can already see some of the group members getting tired. Their weariness isn't slowing down their reaction time at all, thank god, but he can see it in their expressions.

Joel hears a scream on his right and he turns seeing April fall to the ground, her gun clattering out of her reach. He looks to her left seeing a clicker approaching her from the left. Knowing she won't be able to react fast enough, Joel moves quickly.

"April, watch out!" Joel runs over the fallen girl, putting himself between her and the clicker. Before Joel can react, second clicker grabs his from behind. Without hesitation, he shoots consecutive rounds through his own abdomen until the clicker stops moving and falls to the ground dead.

Joel sways in place for a moment before falling to his knees. He can hear April calling his name, gunshots, and someone kneeling down next to him.

April pulls her bag off her shoulders and unzips it pulling out a medical kit and getting to work on patching the wound. There's only so much she can do and both of them know it. Joel needs a hospital and unfortunately, they're in the middle of the goddamned apocalypse.

"I got him, don't worry," she says, wincing as she places the bandages around his abdomen. "You're going to be okay, dammit. You're going to be okay."

Joel can hear more voices approaching. The others must have fought off the rest of the clickers and are heading over to see what's going on. He can hear a few shocked gasps from the larger group before one of the men (Joshua) kneels on his other side.

"We gotta get him back to camp," Joshua says. "Aiden, help me."

Joel hears the other man walk over and grab onto his left arm while Joshua grips his right. The two men help him into a standing, placing his arms over their shoulder. They wrap one of their arms around his back and the other around his waist.

"Alright, ready?" Aiden asks.

Joel nods before they begin making the slow trek back to camp, with the others forming a protective circle around the three men.

* * *

"Joel, what the hell happened to you?" Tommy demands.

"Clickers did," Joel answers, as he staggers through the gate with his group surrounding him. They had radioed ahead that they were going to be returning at a much slower pace due to Joel's injures. Thankfully, he was the only one injured and all of their supplies are still intact.

"Nah, a clicker wouldn't be able to do this shit," Tommy says, shaking his head in disappointment. He motions for the Aiden and Joshua to pass Joel over. Tommy throws one of Joel's arms around his shoulders while Maria takes the other. The trio slowly begins moving away from the larger group, who start heading to their respective homes. When they're far enough away, Tommy says, "Again, I will ask. What the hell happened to you?"

The brunet sighs heavily knowing that his brother wouldn't quit until he got a straight answer. He beings relaying over what happened during the mission along with the resulting ambush and how he was injured, feeling his brother's grip on his arm tighten out of anger. When he finishes the tale, he hears Maria scowl and mutter angrily under her breath.

"Alright, we got to get you to medical," Tommy says.

"No," Joel responds firmly.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees his brother's frown deepen. "What the hell do you mean no?"

"I don't want to go to medical; I want to go to the lab."

"The lab?" Maria questions and Joel can hear the anger dripping from her tone. "You are injured in your _goddamned abdomen_ and at risk of bleeding out and you're worried about time traveling."

"Maria—" The brunet begins.

"No, Joel," she says, cutting him off. "I don't understand where the logic is in all of this is? You need immediate medical attention."

"Maria," Joel says in a harsh whisper. "You, Tommy, and I all know damn well that there is a chance I won't be able to survive these injuries regardless of what I do next. At least, give me the choice to use my last possible moments to do some sort of good."

"Joel . . ."

"Maria, don't," Tommy speaks. "My brother is more stubborn and driven than I am. Once he makes his mind up on something, there's no convincing him otherwise. Let's take him to the lab. We can stitch and patch him there while we learn more about this damn machine."

"Thank you," Joel says, grateful.

Maria opens her mouth as if she wants to argue, but ultimately sighs in frustration.

After about fifteen minutes, the trio arrives in the lab. Shannon and Tamera look concerned at Joel's condition, but he waves them off saying he'll be fine. Maria had disappeared as soon as Joel was settled, only to return a few moments later with a medical kit. She wanted to do the patching herself, but Joel said he would be fine on his own. Maria pursed her lips like she wanted to argue or yell, but instead silently hands him kit and moves to sit next to Tommy, who is settled in a chair on the other side of the room. Joel opens the med kit and starts patching himself up.

"So, the machine," Tommy begins, breaking the silence. "Will it work?"

"In theory, it should," Tamera answers.

"In theory?" Tommy explains with a raised eyebrow.

Shannon nods her head. "Even though we've spent years working on this, time traveling is something that has never been attempted before. The machine should work, yes, but we have no idea of the after affects or anything of that nature. We don't even know if he can return to this time period."

"How will it all work?" Maria asks, eyes darting between the scientists, Joel, and her husband.

"Joel will sit in the machine while we prep everything. When we give him the go ahead, he'll turn the key in the ignition and that should transport him back to whatever time period he chooses."

While the two women continue explaining the specs of the machine and going into detail about paradoxes, Joel avoids his brother's burning gaze. Both men know that no matter what, a paradox will not be an issue because he's going to die—whether by the machine or his injuries, they don't openly say.

* * *

"Are you ready, Joel?" Shannon asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Joel responds.

"All right, if you could just step into the machine, please, then we can get started," Shannon says, with an encouraging smile.

Joel climbs into the machine while the scientists rush around the room, pressing buttons and flipping switches on the various machines surrounding him. He looks up, meeting Tommy and Maria's gaze both of them looking upset and angry. Joel knows they don't want him to do this, but why waste medical supplies that others need when he knows he won't make it out of this alive.

"We're all set. Are you ready Joel?" Tamera asks from her place next to Shannon on the other side of the room.

Joel nods. "I'm ready," he says. He turns the key in the ignition before a bright light consumes him as he thinks of finding Ellie.

The light fades and Joel's eyes widen as he finds himself sitting in the machine surrounded by broken and unused cars. "Shit, it actually worked," he says, completely shocked as he climbs of the machine and looks around the area, noticing that he's back in Boston.

He steps away from the machine as if in a daze, eyes widening even further because he remembers passing by this years ago with Tess and Ellie on their way to the Firefly encampment at City Hall. He starts to wonder how the machine got from Boston all the way out to Salt Lake when the shock wears off and he remembers his injuries and the shitty patch job he did.

Joel sucks in a breath, feeling new wetness intermixed with previously dried blood. His vision blurs and he stumbles into a nearby alley, barely managing to get himself into a sitting position on the ground before passing out.

* * *

"Hey! Hey Mister, are you alright?"

Joel slowly opens his eyes and sees a younger version of Ellie sitting in front of him, her eyes wide with worry and unshed tears. The dark haired man smiles slightly and tries to say her name but no words come out. He feels a wetness leaking from his abdomen and Joel knows he doesn't have a lot of time left. He has to tell her before it's too late.

Ellie's eyes roam over Joel's torso, lingering on the room her lips parting with a slight gasp. "You stay here; I'm going to get some help—"

"Wait," Joel says, his voice hoarse as he reaches out to grip Ellie's arm before she moves away. "No help."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Ellie says, mouth twisting into a frown. "You're bleeding heavily with no sign of stopping. You could—You could die."

"I've been dying for a long time now," Joel says. "But, you can be saved."

A suspicious look crosses Ellie's features. "Excuse me? Just who the hell do you think you are—?"

"Don't go to the mall."

Ellie's mouth snaps closed and she gives him a confused look. "What?"

"Don't go to the mall," he repeats. His body has a numb tingling sensation and he's becoming delirious from the blood loss. He doesn't have a lot of time left.

"Why would I go to the mall? We're not allowed after curfew."

"Trust me. An opportunity will arise for you to go and you have to say no."

Ellie furrows her brow, anger flashing in her eyes. "You don't know me. How do you know something like that will happen? No one I know would ever dare to break curfew."

"It happened to a friend of mine; she was given the opportunity to break curfew, went with her friends, and watched them die. No one else should have that fate."

Ellie's look softens and she shifts her position so she's sitting next to Joel. She looks scared but understanding at the same time. "Okay, I won't go to the mall."

"Promise me."

She nods her head and offers him a small smile. "I promise I won't go to the mall."

"Okay," Joel says with a slight nod. He returns her smile before closing his eyes and allowing the world to slip away.

* * *

**A/N: I'm leaving this open ended so the reader can decide on whether or not Ellie heeds Joel's warning. Again, thank you all so much for the support :)**


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